Isolation and overeating are brothers.
Reaching out to other people can be hard, especially to those who have gotten comfort in isolation with food. Being more socially interactive is one action that counters isolation. When one takes initiative to get out of isolation and be more social, the desire for that extra food may naturally disappear. On the other hand, if one sets out to indulge less often, this creates a vacuum. Since nature abhors a vacuum, something must replace that which was removed. If nothing replaces the habit of overindulging, guess what? The person won't change and will eventually return to his or her old habits of overeating. Decide now what you will replace that bad habit with, and go to it! Don't delay!
Social clubs of all types are everywhere. There are organized "meet-up" groups on the web, where people hook up on-line with common interests, then go out and actually meet with these people and do fun things, such as participating in book clubs, hiking clubs, mothers who do lunch clubs - the list is endless! Churches and the community newspaper can also be a great resource once one decides to be more socially interactive.
So is the hard part for us "deciding" and then "acting" upon our decision? I know I have had the best of intentions with certain ideals that never got off the ground. Let's pick one thing today that we will do different, and see how that effects our mindset!
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Be More Socially Interactive!
I am sure everyone has gotten used to writing 2014 now! Upping the year in our written documents is a habit that must change at the beginning of each year. But how about other habits? How about those new years resolutions? I have an idea!!!
If I were to take a poll, I would be willing to bet that if there were 2 possible new year's resolutions, such as…
1. Become more active with social media, get more comfortable with many types of social media
---and---
2. Spend more time face to face with friends and loved ones,
That #1 would win as the resolution of choice.
Which is it for you? I, personally, am all over #1. And now that I've written that, I'm not very proud of it, either. It is a necessity, though, for anyone who is in business: easy to rationalize. And it's so much fun to engage in, personally! On the other hand, those relationships will always be there, right? Hmm.
But something's missing, isn't it? The social and interactive "direct access" connection we get and give by spending time with someone in person. Even Skype and Face Time don't have the same impact as physically being with someone. We are missing the 100% communication-ability that happens when we are immediately connected with one's face, body, body language and voice!!
I am going to challenge you and challenge myself today. My challenge is to contact someone who we don't know very well to meet up someplace and do lunch or coffee or something like that. And actually follow through!! I have a feeling that this type of socializing is a dying art in our world - and one that needs to be revived for our sense of well-being and connectedness!
How are you with the social media thing? I've heard some speak lately of wanting to cut back on the social media, that they really don't feel it is adding a whole lot to their lives. What are your thoughts?
The next post will be an update! Happy social-not media-izing!
If I were to take a poll, I would be willing to bet that if there were 2 possible new year's resolutions, such as…
1. Become more active with social media, get more comfortable with many types of social media
---and---
2. Spend more time face to face with friends and loved ones,
That #1 would win as the resolution of choice.
Which is it for you? I, personally, am all over #1. And now that I've written that, I'm not very proud of it, either. It is a necessity, though, for anyone who is in business: easy to rationalize. And it's so much fun to engage in, personally! On the other hand, those relationships will always be there, right? Hmm.
But something's missing, isn't it? The social and interactive "direct access" connection we get and give by spending time with someone in person. Even Skype and Face Time don't have the same impact as physically being with someone. We are missing the 100% communication-ability that happens when we are immediately connected with one's face, body, body language and voice!!
I am going to challenge you and challenge myself today. My challenge is to contact someone who we don't know very well to meet up someplace and do lunch or coffee or something like that. And actually follow through!! I have a feeling that this type of socializing is a dying art in our world - and one that needs to be revived for our sense of well-being and connectedness!
How are you with the social media thing? I've heard some speak lately of wanting to cut back on the social media, that they really don't feel it is adding a whole lot to their lives. What are your thoughts?
The next post will be an update! Happy social-not media-izing!
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Controlling My Thinking
I learned something a while back I want to share with you… I started to pay attention to my thoughts and what was going through my head. I did this to become more aware of when I was thinking negatively. What I found was that there were two scenarios that would cause my mind to spin out of control:
1. Some circumstance out of my control would happen (an unexpected bill, an expected bill, a medical issue, a disruptive child, an inconsiderate driver, etc., etc…) and it would set off a chain reaction of thought in my head and affect me for some time thereafter; or
2. I would wake up with a negative mindset (due to hormones, waking up on the wrong side of bed, and who knows what else) and be unable to shake it off.
Needless to say, I lived in negativity: MARINATED in it. Negative was comfortable. I was so used to it! One day a dear friend asked me, "Annette, how much positivity can you handle at one time?" This question stunned me. I had no idea, but I was intrigued and determined to find out! This question inspired me to look to higher ground. It was at this point that I really began to tune in to what was going on upstairs and begin to take control of my mind.
Once I decided to pay attention to my mindset, I became aware of how I was plagued and driven by negative thoughts. Now, I want to take a moment and ask you the question, "Why do you think I didn't pay attention to my thoughts before?"
Thank you for asking! I am happy to tell you that I never even considered the possibility that I might have an inkling of control over my own thoughts! In fact, I truly thought I was powerless over my mind, my feelings and my thoughts. I concluded for many years that I was doomed because of my mindset: and I was, for "as a man thinketh, so is he".
Happily, over time this all changed. I became aware of what was happening inside me and believed that I did, in fact, have control over my mind and my thoughts, that I have control over what I focus on and what I choose to NOT focus on.
Don't wait to do this! Your whole life will change as a result of your doing this one thing: taking control of your own mind!!!
Friday, January 3, 2014
Fireworks In My Head
My neighbors left their 11 and 12 year old sons unsupervised to do their fireworks the past few nights. The following mornings, there were heaps of trash in front of their driveway, which was cleaned up at some point during the day. But what wasn't cleaned up was all the projectile trash from those fireworks which landed in my front yard, driveway and bushes.
What's a girl to do? Here are my options that I see:
1. Either I knock on their door and ask them if they wouldn't mind cleaning up my yard after their sons do fireworks;
2. I call the sheriff or neighborhood association to register a complaint; or
3. I attempt, as one citizen, to try to get more strict enforcement of something that is already prohibited in this area.
4. I do nothing.
Let's look at all of these, briefly:
1. Here, I look like the bad guy, the killjoy, and possibly might ruin my harmonious neighborly relationship by confronting these people.
2. Been there, done that. Nobody does anything or claims there is anything anybody can do because "everybody is doing it". Who is everybody, anyway? I only see these people doing it in my neighborhood. Are there more people doing it than not doing it? I don't think so. I got nowhere with this one, either with the association or the sheriff.
3. I have not done this one. It will take time and there are no guarantees that my efforts will result in more peace and safety for all residents of my community. I am willing to try this, though.
4. I have been doing nothing for almost 10 years. What has happened? The same thing, every 4th of July and New Year's Eve. And as these holidays approach each year, I dread them. I feel stuck. I plan to have a sleepless night. My frustration and stress level build every year, as does my resentment. What's more scary to me is that as these boys are getting older, their antics become more daring.
What do you do to prevent stress from coming in to your life? How would you deal with this problem? Is there an alternative I did not mention that I need to hear about? I would really appreciate feedback on this one, before next 4th of July!!!
What's a girl to do? Here are my options that I see:
1. Either I knock on their door and ask them if they wouldn't mind cleaning up my yard after their sons do fireworks;
2. I call the sheriff or neighborhood association to register a complaint; or
3. I attempt, as one citizen, to try to get more strict enforcement of something that is already prohibited in this area.
4. I do nothing.
Let's look at all of these, briefly:
1. Here, I look like the bad guy, the killjoy, and possibly might ruin my harmonious neighborly relationship by confronting these people.
2. Been there, done that. Nobody does anything or claims there is anything anybody can do because "everybody is doing it". Who is everybody, anyway? I only see these people doing it in my neighborhood. Are there more people doing it than not doing it? I don't think so. I got nowhere with this one, either with the association or the sheriff.
3. I have not done this one. It will take time and there are no guarantees that my efforts will result in more peace and safety for all residents of my community. I am willing to try this, though.
4. I have been doing nothing for almost 10 years. What has happened? The same thing, every 4th of July and New Year's Eve. And as these holidays approach each year, I dread them. I feel stuck. I plan to have a sleepless night. My frustration and stress level build every year, as does my resentment. What's more scary to me is that as these boys are getting older, their antics become more daring.
What do you do to prevent stress from coming in to your life? How would you deal with this problem? Is there an alternative I did not mention that I need to hear about? I would really appreciate feedback on this one, before next 4th of July!!!
Monday, December 30, 2013
What Do I Do With My Frustration???
My list of items to do today consists of mainly computer work I have been procrastinating on. I normally don't procrastinate on things unless I have a reason to do so. To summarize my reason for procrastinating on my computer work: I don't totally understand what I need to do to get where I want to go!
So, I find other things to do: housework, eating my next meal or making a phone call. But none of those things are going to get me closer to my goal of finishing my computer work. I still have this looming, dark cloud of a task hanging over my head. If I want to finish it - and I do - there is only one way to get through it, and that's through it.
I need to accomplish several things here in my mind, before I can accomplish anything…
1. I need an attitude adjustment, for sure! I need to see the computer work as a learning opportunity which will springboard me to higher levels of education and capability to succeed in my chosen field.
2. I need patience to sit at my computer and use trial and error in addition to searching different websites to see how my issues have been resolved by others.
3. I need to find a way to lower my level of frustration.
Perhaps #1 and #3 go together. Perhaps if I change my attitude, my frustration will decrease, and if I am able to decrease my frustration, my attitude will improve. Or, perhaps I just need to plug along at #2 and forget #1 and #3. If I plug along at #2, then wind up resolving the issues with my computer, then I know my attitude will be great and my frustration will disappear!
But what can I do with frustration, anyway? How do you deal with frustration? I believe if we can find ways to attack all three issues, above, we would be a lot better off than just dealing with one. However, the frustration seems to be the most baffling for me!
So, I find other things to do: housework, eating my next meal or making a phone call. But none of those things are going to get me closer to my goal of finishing my computer work. I still have this looming, dark cloud of a task hanging over my head. If I want to finish it - and I do - there is only one way to get through it, and that's through it.
I need to accomplish several things here in my mind, before I can accomplish anything…
1. I need an attitude adjustment, for sure! I need to see the computer work as a learning opportunity which will springboard me to higher levels of education and capability to succeed in my chosen field.
2. I need patience to sit at my computer and use trial and error in addition to searching different websites to see how my issues have been resolved by others.
3. I need to find a way to lower my level of frustration.
Perhaps #1 and #3 go together. Perhaps if I change my attitude, my frustration will decrease, and if I am able to decrease my frustration, my attitude will improve. Or, perhaps I just need to plug along at #2 and forget #1 and #3. If I plug along at #2, then wind up resolving the issues with my computer, then I know my attitude will be great and my frustration will disappear!
But what can I do with frustration, anyway? How do you deal with frustration? I believe if we can find ways to attack all three issues, above, we would be a lot better off than just dealing with one. However, the frustration seems to be the most baffling for me!
Monday, December 23, 2013
The Holidays: License To Eat?
In a conversation a few weeks ago, a woman with a handful of christmas cookies said to me, "I don't care what I eat until January 1st!" Although she has been overweight for the 4 years I have known her, she claims that she is a vegetarian and that diet "works for her", and that she will resume with that after the first of the year. I wonder what "works" means, given that she is no smaller than she was 4 years ago?
What really struck me about this conversation was her conflicted messages. On one hand, not caring about what one eats for the next few weeks implies a lack of conscientiousness and a lack of control. On the other hand, claiming one is a vegetarian implies a heightened conscientiousness regarding one's food choices. I wonder which one she really is? I wonder if she realizes how conflicted her sentences sound? Or, is this just me?
With all the extra activity going on and different foods circulating around the holiday season, my goal over the holidays has never been to lose weight, but to maintain it. For me to place unrealistic goals for myself in the area of "food" and "holiday eating" sets me up for nothing but failure - and a more difficult goal to surmount on January 1st! Conversely, I could isolate, stay at home and not participate in the festivities. Perhaps I might lose weight then, but I know that would not make me happy!
Now, I'm not saying that I can't have a good time without overeating: to the contrary! But if I try my best to maintain my normal eating and exercise schedule over the holidays, I know I will be my happiest. And when I am my happiest, my world seems to be okay.
What really struck me about this conversation was her conflicted messages. On one hand, not caring about what one eats for the next few weeks implies a lack of conscientiousness and a lack of control. On the other hand, claiming one is a vegetarian implies a heightened conscientiousness regarding one's food choices. I wonder which one she really is? I wonder if she realizes how conflicted her sentences sound? Or, is this just me?
With all the extra activity going on and different foods circulating around the holiday season, my goal over the holidays has never been to lose weight, but to maintain it. For me to place unrealistic goals for myself in the area of "food" and "holiday eating" sets me up for nothing but failure - and a more difficult goal to surmount on January 1st! Conversely, I could isolate, stay at home and not participate in the festivities. Perhaps I might lose weight then, but I know that would not make me happy!
Now, I'm not saying that I can't have a good time without overeating: to the contrary! But if I try my best to maintain my normal eating and exercise schedule over the holidays, I know I will be my happiest. And when I am my happiest, my world seems to be okay.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Drama Queen
A big reason I used to overindulge in anything was because I was all worked-up about something. I was bugged, frustrated or disturbed about something I had no control over. In fact, I would work myself up into a frenzy about something menial, just because I was so used to getting myself all worked-up: the drama became a norm for me and I became comfortable with lots of drama in my life. Conversely, when I had no drama in my life, something felt wrong.
I don't have to live that way anymore. I start my days differently today, with prayer and meditation. When I feel myself beginning to get uptight about something, a red flag goes up and I pause and think for a moment about how I might choose to respond to that situation. In addition, when I know I am approaching a situation where I have been upset before (like holiday traffic), I can say a prayer and repeat affirmations so that my mind stays occupied with positive thoughts. Before I know it, I have successfully circumvented that unpleasant situation!
The act of keeping my mind and emotions on an even keel plays a huge part in my ability to eat moderately. And how about you? What are some ways you are able to maintain sane eating? What are your tools to overcome stressful situations? We can always add another tool in our toolboxes to keep us adequately equipped for the next yucky situation!
I don't have to live that way anymore. I start my days differently today, with prayer and meditation. When I feel myself beginning to get uptight about something, a red flag goes up and I pause and think for a moment about how I might choose to respond to that situation. In addition, when I know I am approaching a situation where I have been upset before (like holiday traffic), I can say a prayer and repeat affirmations so that my mind stays occupied with positive thoughts. Before I know it, I have successfully circumvented that unpleasant situation!
The act of keeping my mind and emotions on an even keel plays a huge part in my ability to eat moderately. And how about you? What are some ways you are able to maintain sane eating? What are your tools to overcome stressful situations? We can always add another tool in our toolboxes to keep us adequately equipped for the next yucky situation!
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