Nah, I don't struggle with this. What I struggle with is the fear that I'm not pretty, smart, successful or thin enough.
Well, isn't that perfectionism? Where nothing is ever good enough? On the other hand, when I am plagued by these feelings, I couldn't tell you how much WOULD be enough!
How much is enough for you? Do you know you struggle with this, or do you wonder if it's a struggle? Or are you like me, trying to call it by any other name? LOL!
I was perusing various definitions of the word, "perfectionism" and the word "overachiever" came up several times. I don't really consider myself an overachiever - professionally, that is. Sometimes I feel I've not achieved much of anything in the world, and that bothers me. On the other hand, maybe I am associating "achieving" with "the latest technological discovery in neurological science", or something exciting like that. Yes, I think that's me - I tend to look at others and compare myself to them. Unless I am a modern day Thomas Edison, I am nothing. I'll always lose with comparison.
If I get real with myself, I have to admit, I've done pretty well with the raw materials I was given. I have experienced victory over multiple addictions like overeating, bulimia, drugs and alcohol. I help people with their health, fitness and food. I have a child I fiercely love and ask God daily to help me raise her the way He wants her to be raised. I have a peaceful and harmonious marriage to the man I have loved for nearly 16 years - and the list could go on.
So, I think I may be on to something - maybe you can help me out here. If perfectionism is focusing on what we don't have or what we aren't, then maybe the way out of perfectionism is focusing on different things like what we do have and what we are. In other words if I change my state of mind, be grateful and decide that today I will have a positive attitude, I'll forget about the negativity associated with those perfectionistic thoughts. And when those negative thoughts that "I'm not good enough" come in, I have the choice to let them in my head or keep them out.
What do you think? Could this be the solution? What is your experience with perfectionism? If you have ever written a list of things to be grateful for: a gratitude list - what did it do for you? Did it change your attitude? Did it help you focus on other things?
I would love to hear your feedback on this issue. If there is something else you have combatted perfectionism with, I want to know what it is!!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Return Home from Trip
This is the first post to the new blog, "Eating Problem Living Problem". Let's discuss our experiences with eating habits we don't like, and explore possible reasons why we go there. then, let's explore solutions to becoming who we really want to be! I'll go first....
So we returned from a week-long trip yesterday. Trips always mess me up food-wise, since I eat weird food in restaurants almost daily when I'm out of town. So someone says, "Why don't you just order a dry-grilled chicken breast and have a salad with lemon juice?" My response to that is, "Are you kidding? I mean, who really does that? I've never done that even in my skinniest days! Speak my language!"
Why go to a restaurant if I'm going to get something bland? And don't start talking about cooking, either. I'm not a cook, I don't cook, and the more I cook, the more I eat. In fact, I'm not the slightest bit interested in culinary stuff. And regarding the restaurant thing, I will neither bring my dressing in to a restaurant, nor will I ask a waiter for baked chips.
I enjoy eating. I don't know anyone who doesn't! My goal here is to develop the healthiest relationship with food as possible, free from any preoccupation with food - and still enjoy having a slender, healthy and fit physique.
Anyway, back to the topic. So today, I'm still messed up - specifically, I'm still craving food I don't want to eat, because of how I ate last week. It's unrealistic for me to think that my eating will always be consistent, so I'm going to have to learn how to deal with these ebbs and flows.
I attempted to regain traction with the food today. I did okay, but my food still wasn't perfect. I'm just going to have to be okay with that. I mean, it didn't take me a day to get all messed up, so it may take me more than a day to get back to EATING CLEAN!
So we returned from a week-long trip yesterday. Trips always mess me up food-wise, since I eat weird food in restaurants almost daily when I'm out of town. So someone says, "Why don't you just order a dry-grilled chicken breast and have a salad with lemon juice?" My response to that is, "Are you kidding? I mean, who really does that? I've never done that even in my skinniest days! Speak my language!"
Why go to a restaurant if I'm going to get something bland? And don't start talking about cooking, either. I'm not a cook, I don't cook, and the more I cook, the more I eat. In fact, I'm not the slightest bit interested in culinary stuff. And regarding the restaurant thing, I will neither bring my dressing in to a restaurant, nor will I ask a waiter for baked chips.
I enjoy eating. I don't know anyone who doesn't! My goal here is to develop the healthiest relationship with food as possible, free from any preoccupation with food - and still enjoy having a slender, healthy and fit physique.
Anyway, back to the topic. So today, I'm still messed up - specifically, I'm still craving food I don't want to eat, because of how I ate last week. It's unrealistic for me to think that my eating will always be consistent, so I'm going to have to learn how to deal with these ebbs and flows.
I attempted to regain traction with the food today. I did okay, but my food still wasn't perfect. I'm just going to have to be okay with that. I mean, it didn't take me a day to get all messed up, so it may take me more than a day to get back to EATING CLEAN!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Changing Routines
Wow, the Summer is in full force here! Were you prepared for this???
We were out of town the first week, so I didn't really notice anything. My daughter was in camp all last week and ditto with not noticing. However, this week is different. She is home and I still have all my stuff I normally do...
...that I didn't do. I felt so scattered today, so pulled in opposite directions. It was all I could do to keep my head above water. I wanted to keep her occupied with stimulating activities, but since she is only 7, she isn't self-motivating, so I have to be the driving force behind her activities. If I don't monitor her activities, then before I know it, she has mesmerized herself in one of several media devices! I don't mind a little of those, but a constant diet of device-hopping can't be healthy for anyone!!
How have you dealt with summer? Perhaps it doesn't phase you - no kids? What about any sort of routine change? How do you deal with those?
I know it will take me a few days to get this routine down. I'm not frustrated about any of that. What amazes me is that the day got away from me and I feel like I've done little of anything productive - for me or for her!! Ugh!
Am I a human being or a human doing? Am I ever-evolving with life's ups and downs, or am I a machine that can be turned on, off or programmed?
These are the questions I need to ask myself, since I tend to be so hard on myself. If I am to become more compassionate toward myself, I need to reflect a little on these points. As long as I can get to this mindset and remind myself that everything is really okay, I get to a place of peace, no matter what chaos is going on in my life.
Next post will be on Perfectionism!!!
We were out of town the first week, so I didn't really notice anything. My daughter was in camp all last week and ditto with not noticing. However, this week is different. She is home and I still have all my stuff I normally do...
...that I didn't do. I felt so scattered today, so pulled in opposite directions. It was all I could do to keep my head above water. I wanted to keep her occupied with stimulating activities, but since she is only 7, she isn't self-motivating, so I have to be the driving force behind her activities. If I don't monitor her activities, then before I know it, she has mesmerized herself in one of several media devices! I don't mind a little of those, but a constant diet of device-hopping can't be healthy for anyone!!
How have you dealt with summer? Perhaps it doesn't phase you - no kids? What about any sort of routine change? How do you deal with those?
I know it will take me a few days to get this routine down. I'm not frustrated about any of that. What amazes me is that the day got away from me and I feel like I've done little of anything productive - for me or for her!! Ugh!
Am I a human being or a human doing? Am I ever-evolving with life's ups and downs, or am I a machine that can be turned on, off or programmed?
These are the questions I need to ask myself, since I tend to be so hard on myself. If I am to become more compassionate toward myself, I need to reflect a little on these points. As long as I can get to this mindset and remind myself that everything is really okay, I get to a place of peace, no matter what chaos is going on in my life.
Next post will be on Perfectionism!!!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Struggle With Negative Feelings
Do you sometimes feel like there are two of you? An evil twin sister or brother, perhaps? I have felt like there has been a fight all day inside of me. It's a constant state of unrest and frustration, never seeming to get resolved. I think I woke up this way, and I don't even know why. Nothing seems to be wrong on the outside, but somehow I feel wrong!
How do you respond when you feel this way? My first response is to be "hungry", even though I might have just eaten!! But I know I don't want to eat, because that wouldn't solve the real problem. So, what IS the real problem??? Sometimes the only way I know how to deal with these days is just to go to bed as soon as possible!!
Time to pause; take a moment and let the feelings flow over me. What comes up for you? Is there a recurring issue that keeps resurfacing that needs to be dealt with?
What is your experience with negative feelings? Are you always 100% positive? Do you sometimes wake up just feeling "not right"? And then, how do you deal with it?
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Eating Clean
Today was a normal day in all respects. I had a work out, had normal activities and there wasn't anything particularly stressful about the day. I allowed enough time to get from one place to another - that has been a big stressor for me in the past - so today, I didn't get stressed about being late.
One thing I did do today that I don't normally do is this: If I had an unpleasant task, I didn't shove it aside for later; I did it immediately and got it off my desk, deleted it, filed it or passed it on to the next appropriate party. Sometimes when I allow stuff that I don't want to do to pile up on my desk, I start to feel overwhelmed and powerless and frustrated. When I feel these emotions, I want to escape. And where do I tend to go to escape from these feelings? EATING and FOOD!
So all this talk about stressors and emotions is leading me to the topic of eating clean. Because if I can manage these stressors and emotions in my life, I'll have a much better handle of eating well in all respects: I'll make healthier food choices and my eating behavior will be more "normal". And by "normal", I mean normal portions, slowing down my chewing instead of inhaling my food, not taking the whole bag of something and mindlessly doing the "hand-to-bag, hand-to-mouth, repeat" behavior.
I want to feel good today! And my behavior with the food plays a big part in how I feel. So I have to be careful how I eat if I want to feel good about me. Eating clean isn't just a matter of what I eat; it is also how I am eating.
One thing I do more than I care to admit is eating large portions of healthy food. But even then, I have to ask myself, "Why am I eating more than I really need, even if it's healthy?" If it's not true, physical hunger, there's always a reason. I can no longer be in denial and say it's a mere habit. If I really want change in my life, I'm going to have to get honest with myself and step away from the kitchen. THEN, the feelings come up. THEN, I have a clue as to what is "eating me". THEN, I have a chance to change my behavior: Permanently!!
One thing I did do today that I don't normally do is this: If I had an unpleasant task, I didn't shove it aside for later; I did it immediately and got it off my desk, deleted it, filed it or passed it on to the next appropriate party. Sometimes when I allow stuff that I don't want to do to pile up on my desk, I start to feel overwhelmed and powerless and frustrated. When I feel these emotions, I want to escape. And where do I tend to go to escape from these feelings? EATING and FOOD!
So all this talk about stressors and emotions is leading me to the topic of eating clean. Because if I can manage these stressors and emotions in my life, I'll have a much better handle of eating well in all respects: I'll make healthier food choices and my eating behavior will be more "normal". And by "normal", I mean normal portions, slowing down my chewing instead of inhaling my food, not taking the whole bag of something and mindlessly doing the "hand-to-bag, hand-to-mouth, repeat" behavior.
I want to feel good today! And my behavior with the food plays a big part in how I feel. So I have to be careful how I eat if I want to feel good about me. Eating clean isn't just a matter of what I eat; it is also how I am eating.
One thing I do more than I care to admit is eating large portions of healthy food. But even then, I have to ask myself, "Why am I eating more than I really need, even if it's healthy?" If it's not true, physical hunger, there's always a reason. I can no longer be in denial and say it's a mere habit. If I really want change in my life, I'm going to have to get honest with myself and step away from the kitchen. THEN, the feelings come up. THEN, I have a clue as to what is "eating me". THEN, I have a chance to change my behavior: Permanently!!
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